Enough

Sometime today, I came to the conclusion that if I've been rather miserable the past 8 weeks, I only have myself to blame.

It surprises me to realize that I've allowed myself to become a victim of the situation that the family is currently facing. Nothing proves it more concretely than the six pounds or so that I've managed to gain since late August.

When I'm feeling optimistic about life, I have a lot more self-discipline and I tend to set long-term goals and work towards them. When I'm depressed, I stop thinking about the long-term and just focus on whatever feels good right now.

Well, enough is enough. Today, I will hit the treadmill and will focus on getting rid of these six pounds by the end of the year. I know I can't control the situation that I find myself in. But I can and will control how I respond to it. I refuse to be a victim any longer.

Shopping List

Went to the grocery today for the first time in a very long time to do shopping for the household.

It took over 2 hours and visits to two different grocers to get everything that was on the list. Admittedly, it was a rather formidable list, but still! Two hours is a lot of time to be wandering up and down the aisles. And to think the lines at the checkout counters weren't even long.

Anyway, here's the list, for what it's worth.

• Orange juice
  
• Eggs
• Celery
• Pechay
• Carrots
• Potatoes
  
• Whole chicken
• Pork chops
• Papayas
• Chili Garlic Sauce
• Oyster Sauce
• Mayonnaise
• Vinegar
  
• Mang Tomas Sarsa
• Scotch brite
• Zonrox bleach
• Cleanser
• Canola Oil
• Button mushrooms
• Corned beef
• Vienna sausages

As you can see, it's all just typical household stuff... what's meaningful about this list are the additional responsibilities that it represents. I hate to admit it, but I guess it's time to grow up.

The Wedding Date

Finally watched The Wedding Date on VCD tonight.

It was fun to watch since my expectations had been lowered already by feedback from other people. I didn't go in expecting some masterpiece. I only expected to have something that would while away the time.

Consequently, I found myself enjoying Debra Messing's performance in a role that's so very different from her character Grace (in Will & Grace). And Dermot Mulroney was surprisingly hunkier than usual, with a voice that's really divine. ;)

As can be expected, the happy ending was slightly unrealistic, but as any girl knows, that's part of the fun of watching a chick-flick.

Note: Photo by Adebari, Eugene - © 2005 Universal Studios

Reading again

Sometime this week, I started reading my magazines again.

And you know what? It made me realize just how much I've been missing by not keeping up with my usual reading.

There's that unique sensation you get when your mind's eye is wide open and taking in all-new concepts; that feeling of being much more alive and aware of the world around you; that humbling realization that there's still so much out there that you haven't heard of... all that I experienced once again this week.

And it made me wonder why I had let go of reading in the first place.

Ouch

Had my first ever mammogram over five hours ago and I'm still sore. :(

This despite the fact that I followed some advice that I had read online and had taken a dose of Advil around an hour before getting the scan.

Thankfully, it was a short procedure, and you get immediate pain relief after the machine releases you from its hold. It's just really painful while you're clamped down and the machine is taking the scan. I had to dig my fingernails into my palms and take deep breaths just to keep myself distracted.

After going through all that, however, the doctor tells me that the x-ray is inconclusive because there's too much dense tissue... and that I need to have an ultrasound done as a follow-up procedure. Arrgh. All that pain for no apparent gain. NOT AT ALL FUN!